Is there such a thing as 'not praying hard enough'? If so, I definitely haven't been praying hard enough. I think this is my first time admitting this so publicly, or even, the first to admit it. I struggle with prayer. I want immediate results. I want to see something happen. I want to see change. The change that I've been praying for. If i don't, I stop praying about it but still trust in God that in His time it'll all be good.
And for the longest time, I've settled on knowing and believing the fact that God wants to teach me a lesson by withholding things from me so through this journey I can learn to persevere in prayer; that I will build an even stronger faith despite the things on my plate. But I've failed continuously. Stagnant and idle. Waiting and hoping that things could just come easy.
And I tell you now my dearest self, if you don't start doing something you will regret it when that day comes. When it comes and when things can't ever be undone you will regret. You will be on your knees, guilty, wailing and you will feel responsible for everything. You have no power to 'change' a thing per se, but God does. He will provide in His time.
And so let it begin with prayer again.
Thank you for your honest sharing, E. I believe we all share the same struggle! The act of praying itself is hard work. It is almost like our attitude in studying for exams; when there're no exams, we tend not to study.
ReplyDeleteRichard Foster in his book titled Prayer quoted from Eugene Peterson. "Prayer takes place in the middle voice," writes Eugene Peterson. In grammar the active voice is when we take action, and the passive voice is when we receive the action of another, but in the middle voice we both act and are acted upon. We participate in the formation of the action and reap the benefits of it. "We neither manipulate God (active voice) or are manipulated by God (passive voice). We are involved in the action and participate in its results but do not control or define it (middle voice)."
The act of praying itself is unnatural and so requires much effort; hence, it is hard work. As we pray, we express our deep longings for God to involve in all areas of our lives and to bestow blessings upon our lives. As we pray, we learn to listen, seek and obey His voice. Sometimes God will clearly tell us which way to go, by open or close door, but most of the time we must take a leap of faith, i.e. to take His Hand and walk with Him. It is true that sometimes we may not see the end results (the experience we learned from the great heroes of faith) but by faith we walk with Him and trust in Him. Whether He will take us to the sea or to the wilderness, He has full control, we don't define it for Him.
Praying is a journey. It is easy to say it theoretically, but very hard to put it in practice persistently. May be if our focus is not just to manage for the exams but to learn the subject matter well, then we'll keep engaging ourselves in studying and learning.
Prayer is about knowing God and knowing ourselves.
God bless.
Interesting concept of the middle voice, Tina. I think the experience one gets from prayer is incredibly hard to explain in words.. It's like a dance between lovers. We might not be the best dancers - there will be clumsy steps and fumbling movements, but the intimacy involved is sweet nonetheless.
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