It seriously frustrates me when i have to deal with people who are always so impatient and "gump." Someone who constantly needs to rush you and make sure you are doing what they want you to do, either something they ordered you to do for them or just something you need to complete. Isnt it ironic that I get ordered around for doing something thats for them. Shouldnt they be asking nicely? It seriously gets me really frustrated because my personality, or the way i approach things, if you have not noticed, is often stress-y and panicky but i do like to take my time to do things at a slow-er pace, at my pace if i have a choice. When i meet someone extremely demanding and when they need things to be done at that instant, if not they will ask you and interrogate you until the task is done, i get extremely irritated and i lose my cool. BTW, im not talking about work or someone who is at a higher position. I am talking about normal every day life situations like doing someone a favor or doing something simple. This is especially a problem when it's with someone close. Well actually, with just one person. I dont want to get them angry but they get me really angry on the inside.
And then i think, am i not being patient enough with them? Am i not "serving" them in the right attitude? Am i not "loving" them enough?
And then i get frustrated even more because i can't do something i'm supposed to be doing.
Ps. I dont think im being impatient or that I am not "serving" them with the right attitude, nor do i not love them enough. I think i just need a bigger heart, a little more godliness and a little more "bao yung." Did i just contradict myself again?
Any suggestions? Other than prayer?
thank you for not giving out names, it allows me to give opinions from a neutral perspective. Given, I don't know who that is. :)
ReplyDeleteAh... sounds like office politics.. haha.. Though it is not at work, but it's regularly seen at work. back to your questions, different people behave differently. your buddy right there, is also a stress-y type, who wants to get things done. maybe a bit lack of trust, that you can get it done right. do remember, don't take it for granted that they will always ask you nicely, because not everyone treats their "helpers" as life-savers, rather slaves sometimes (stupid project managers). It's annoying, because they are not really respecting you. Take it as a chance to practice your patience. Being patient with someone is to be tolerant with the other person. How tolerant you are depends on how patient you are. It is easier to lose cool with closer people, let say some, but not all, of my closer friends.
If you work slowly, that's fine, I work slowly too. I worked at a consulting firm, where people think I can do some things in 5 minutes, when it took me half an hour. It really depends how you would stand up for yourself.
What I would do is I make it clear up front that I work slowly, and you are not going to get what you want if you keep bugging me for it. Now that I have made things clear, I can decide whether I should do it now. It is your job to evaluate whether the work needs to be done immediately, or not. Let say you have an assignment question you want to finish first, then tell them, i will get to it as soon as i get this done. make it sound like if you dont finish it, you will fail. :P if it's just a drama, then maybe that can wait. Once I get started, and the person keeps coming back. Then I just tell them, I am not ready yet, still doing it. If they are rushing, I just say, look, you are slowing me down by talking to me so often. (say it nicely, as I am just trying to be logical) Then just repeating this same sentence when they come back the next time.
Sometimes, they will say,
"look, you can do it while I talk to you".
I will just say, well, I am not doing it as fast as I should be.
But do show progress as they come back the next time, even marginal progress. If they don't see progress, they will think I am not working.
These things come with experience, there is no really a crash-course where you can learn to handle it in one day.
You can consider this as submitting to your superiors. Regardless of whether they are submitting to you, you as a christian, should set an example, using what you've learnt in submission. Once you submit, the loving, patience, big heart and whatever else will come with it.
Hey E,
ReplyDeleteI understand what you're saying. It's hard to deal with ppl who are "impatient". From that person's perspective though, maybe they just really want to be efficient and they like to get things done right away and quick. We all have our pace in life and some ppl just live their lives on fast forward all the time (like HK ppl). If it's a friend, try to talk to him/her about how you feel. Say you understand their style of doing things but at the same time hope that s/he would respect yours. Probably that person doesn't know that his/her pushiness is bothering you. As long as deadlines are met, I don't think the "pace" is such a big deal.